Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.
One man's folly is often another man's wife.
Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.
A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
What a man calls his conscience is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little personal characteristics.
To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her -- when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.
Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.
There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.
There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.
It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son -- and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.
A fool and her money are soon courted.
The follies which a man regrets most in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
Call the bald man, Boy; make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.
No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
Woman! The peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch, and the sinner his justification!