As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.
If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
Meek wifehood is no part of my profession; I am your friend, but never your possession.
Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife.
The fact is that my wife if she had common sense would have more power over me than any other whatsoever, for my heart always alights upon the nearest perch.
She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.
A woman asking Am I good? Am I satisfied? is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.
Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem.
If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you!
The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.
Many a promising career has been wrecked by marrying the wrong sort of woman. The right sort of woman can distinguish between Creative Lassitude and plain shiftlessness.
The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along.
It's my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained.
A man would prefer to come home to an unmade bed and a happy woman than to a neatly made bed and an angry woman.
If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.
Nature meant me a wife, a silly harmless household Dove, fond without art; and kind without deceit.
The argument between wives and whores is an old one; each one thinking that whatever she is, at least she is not the other.
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
That's what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he's wise.
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.
Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
I... chose my wife as she did her wedding-gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well.
Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint.
In that second it dawned on me that I had been living here for eight years with a strange man and had borne him three children.
In your power, all the same. Subject to your will and your demands. No longer free! No! That's a thought I'll never endure! Never.
A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Those graceful acts, those thousand decencies, that daily flow from all her words and actions, mixed with love and sweet compliance, which declare unfeigned union of mind, or in us both one soul.
A pretty wife is something for the fastidious vanity of a roué to retire upon.
If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
A good wife and health is a mans best wealth.
— Proverb
Do not choose your wife at a dance, but in the field among the harvesters.
Marry a mountain girl and you marry the whole mountain.
The clog of all pleasure, the luggage of life, is the best can be said for a very good wife.
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
The philosophy of the common man is an old wife that gives him no pleasure, yet he cannot live without her, and resents any aspersions that strangers may cast on her character.
To suckle fools, and chronicle small beer.
This comes of James teaching me to think for myself, and never to hold back out of fear of what other people may think of me. It works beautifully as long as I think the same things as he does.
I'm sorry to say my dear wife is a dreamer, and as she dreams she gets paler and leaner. Then be off to your Dream, with his fly-away hat, I stay with the girls who are happy and fat.
Such indeed is the superior longevity of the fair females of Surinam, compared to that of the males (owing chiefly, as I said, to their excesses of all sorts) that I have frequently known wives who have buried four husbands, but never met a man in this country who had survived two wives.
An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.
He will hold thee, when his passion shall have spent its novel force, something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse.
In America a woman loses her independence for ever in the bonds of matrimony. While there is less constraint on girls there than anywhere else, a wife submits to stricter obligations. For the former, her father's house is a home of freedom and pleasure; for the latter, her husband's is almost a cloister.
A perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes.
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do... but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
When I think of a merry, happy, free young girl -- and look at the ailing, aching state a young wife generally is doomed to -- which you can't deny is the penalty of marriage.
London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognize them. They look so thoroughly unhappy.
He's a fool that marries, but he's a greater that does not marry a fool; what is wit in a wife good for, but to make a man a cuckold?
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.