Movie Trivia

Homer: Marge! Why did you let me sleep so late? Marge: You looked so peaceful lying there. Homer: There'll be plenty of time for that!

— Homer oversleeps to begin his final day on this earth, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: [whispers] Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

— Homer tells Bart the secret, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Next, we take some toilet paper, tear off some teensy little squares, and stick one there... and there... and any place you're bleeding... there... and there... Don't worry, the blood will hold it right on your face.

— Homer teaches Bart how to shave, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Oh I want to be in that rumba When the saints go over there!

— Homer sings to Lisa's sax playing, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Ned: Simpson, what a pleasant surprise. We were just pulling taffy. Homer: Gee, the fun never stops at the Flanders house, does it. Ned: Heh heh, no sirree-bob!

— Homer borrows Ned's camcorder, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: I'll even bring the thickest juciest T-bones you've ever seen. Ned: Mm mm. Sounds terrif! Homer: Heh, the joke's on him! I'll be dead by then!

— Ned invites Homer over for a cookout, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Ahem. This is a videotape for my daughter Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. Woooooooo! Hee hee hee, hope that didn't scare you. Well, Maggie, you're grown-up now, and unless you taped over this, you're probably wondering what kind of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, a gentle man who loved his children and... [phone rings] D'oh! [answers] Hello! Yeah, he's here, who is this? [scratches his butt] ... Bart's friend Millhouse? Bart! Get your butt down here!

— Homer tries to make a tape for Maggie, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: Dad, we've never been too close, have we. Grampa: Not to my knowledge. Homer: Never once went fishing or played catch or even hugged each other. Grampa: We never danced the hootchie-koo, either. Whatcher point?

— Homer reconciles with his father, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: [spots his harmonica-playing cell-mate] That's sort of nice. What are you in for? Man: Atmosphere.

— Homer lands in jail, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: [on the phone] You gotta help me, Barney, I'm in jail. Barney: You are? Hey, Homer, go to the window. [waves across the street to Homer] Hiya neighbor! I can see you!

— Homer lands in jail, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Bart: Why are we all dressed up? Marge: [staring out the window waiting for Homer] Because sometimes it's fun to dress up for dinner. Lisa: Why are we using the good china? Marge: Because sometimes it's fun to use the good china. Bart: What's with the candles? Marge: Sometimes it's fun to use candles. Lisa: Why are we waiting for Dad? Marge: Because we love your father and enjoy his company. Bart: Why are we <really> waiting for Dad?

— Homer is late for the last dinner of his life, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Burns: [peering through binoculars] Smithers! Check out the luscious pair on that redhead. [staring at her red pumps] That's it baby, work those ankles! Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.

— "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: Hey Burns! Eat! my! shorts! Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that? Smithers: Why it's Homer Simpson, sir. One of the schmos from sector 7-G. Burns: Simpson, eh?

— "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy. Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butz. Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butz here? A Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz! [realizes] Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

— Yet another phone prank, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Moe, another last beer, please.

— Homer, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Moe: Please, not in public. Man: You <better> be dying! Barney: Whoa! How European! [belch]

— responses from the bar folk to Homer's good-bye kisses, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Marge: I wrote a poem for you this afternoon, Homer. It's called, `To a Husband'. Homer: Okay, okay. Marge: (Ahem.) The blackened clouds are forming. Homer: Oh, give me a break, Marge. Marge: Soon the rain will fall. My dear one is departing. But first, please heed this call. That always will I love you, My one, my love, my all.

— "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud. Goodbye, Bart. ... I like your sheets.

— Homer tucks in his children one last time, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Hi, I'm Larry King. In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth...

— Bible-on-cassette, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

... lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Well, that's it. Old Fred [?] is standing by, we'll get some coffee, we'll get some matzo-ball soup. I love the San Antonio Spurs, by the way, if you're betting on the NBA this year, I think they'll win it all. So I guess there's nothing more to say but... [closing music]

— Bible-on-cassette, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

I'm alive! From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest!

— Homer realizes he's not dead after all, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

Homer: Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up, or it'll hurt your eyes. Bart: It will not. Homer: [makes a fist] Yes, it will...

— "The Way We Was"

Captain: Senator Mendoza is one of the most respected citizens in this state, McBane. And yet you ran his limo off a cliff, broke the necks of three of his bodyguards, and drove a bus through his front door? McBane: But, Captain, I have prroof dat he is head of an international drrug cartel! Captain: I don't want to hear it, McBane! You're outta here! McBane: [pushes the Captain out his office window, who falls into the fountain in the plaza] Dat makes two of us.

— Here's a typically brainless scene, "The Way We Was"

Homer: Time for Doctor TV to perform a little surgery! [bangs on the TV and the picture gets worse] Bart: Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.

— "The Way We Was"

Cheap Chinese TV, what did I ever buy it for...

— Homer tries to fix the TV set, "The Way We Was"

Homer: [fiddling with the back of the set] Is that better? Lisa+Bart: NOOOO! Homer: How's this? [picture gets worse] Lisa+Bart: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Homer: Okay, everybody remain calm. [gives the TV a big whack; picture disappears] Lisa+Bart: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

— "The Way We Was"

Dear God, just give me one channel! [dramatic camera angle]

— Homer can't fix the TV set, "The Way We Was"

I'm livin' it, but I ain't lovin' it.

— Bart suffers through Homer and Marge's story, "The Way We Was"

Lisa: How did Dad propose to you? Marge: Oh, well... [ flashback ] Doctor: Well, uh, Miss Bouvier, I think we've found the reason why you've been throwing up in the morning. Congratulations. Homer: Doh! [ end of flashback ] Marge: Lisa, I'd rather tell you a different story ...

— "The Way We Was"

Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English! Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.

— "The Way We Was"

Friend: Don't you think you deserve to earn just as much as a man who does the same job? Marge: Well, not if I have to do heavy lifting or math.

— "The Way We Was"

Barney: [bell rings] Oh no, we're late for wood shop! Homer: But... we're early for lunch! Let's go grab a burger. Barney: Boy, you never stop eating and you never gain a pound. Homer: It's my metabomolism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.

— Life as a high school senior, "The Way We Was"

Marge: The first step to liberation is to free ourselves from these male-imposed shackles! [lights a bra] [foom] Friend: I didn't think it would burn so fast. Marge: Mm, I guess it's the tissue paper inside.

— "The Way We Was"

Barney: Hey, Estelle? Will you go to the prom with me? Estelle: I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould! Barney: Oh, shot down again... Homer: Hey, don't worry, Barney, it's a big school. There's got to be a girl nobody <else> wants to take the the prom.

— "The Way We Was"

Homer: So, uh, what are you in for? Marge: I'm a political prisoner. Last time <I> ever take a stand... Homer: Well, I'm here for being me. Every day, I show up, act like me, and they slap me in here. Teacher: Simpson, be quiet! Homer: I haven't seen you in school before. Teacher: Okay, Simpson, Homer: What? Teacher: You just bought yourself another day of detention. Homer: Maybe we should get together sometime. Teacher: Two days! Marge: I'm sorry, I don't even know your name. Homer: I'm Homer Teacher: Three days! Homer: J. Teacher: Four days! Homer: Simpson. Teacher: Five days! Homer: It was worth it! Teacher: Six days! Okay, Simpson, to the back of the room! [ return to present ] Lisa: So it was love a first sight! Bart: It was a jailhouse romance, man! Homer: I reached Step One: She knew I existed. The only problem was, she didn't care.

— The beginning of a beeootiful friendship? "The Way We Was"

Grampa: What's the matter, boy? Homer: Nothing. Grampa: You haven't said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket [of `Shakespeare's Fried Chicken'] out of your greasy mitts. Homer: Dad, I'm in love. Grampa: Uh oh! Why don't you grab yourself a beer, boy. Homer: But Dad, I don't drink ... Grampa: Cut the crap! [in a mocking voice] I just collect the cans, Daddy. [in his normal voice] Now grab yourself a beer and get me one too. Now, this girlfriend of yours, is she a real looker? Homer: Uh huh. Grampa: A lot on the ball? [ie, intelligent?] Homer: Yeah. Grampa: Oh, Son, don't overreach! Go for the DENTED car, the DEAD-END end job, the LESS ATTRACTIVE girl. Oh, I blame myself. I should've had this talk a long time ago. Homer: Thanks, Pop.

— Grampa's three words of advice, "The Way We Was"

Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I need some guidance, Counselor.

— Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Was"

I just met this girl Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.

— Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Was"

The only advice I can give you is, uh, try to share common interests and spend, spend, spend.

— Guidance counselor dispenses advice, "The Way We Was"

Counselor: Do you have any plans for after graduation? Homer: Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out ALL NIGHT.

— Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Was We Was"

Heh, heh, Imagine me in a nuclear power plant. KaBOOM!

— Homer thinks about life after graduation, "The Way We Was"

Homer: My name's Homer Simpson, I'd like to sign up for something. Mrs. B: Well, we have an opening on the debate team. Homer: Debate, like, arguing? Mrs. B: Yes. Homer: I'll take THAT, you DINGPOT! Just warming up, Mrs. Blumenstein.

— Homer tries to share interests with Marge, "The Way We Was"

Mrs. B: This year's topic is `Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to 55 miles per hour.' Homer: 55? That's ridiculous! Sure, it'll save a few lives, but millions will be late!

— Homer joins the debate team, "The Way We Was"

Homer: Wait a minute. That word you keep calling me? Artie: Ignoramus? Homer: Ignoramus? It means I'm stupid, doesn't it! Artie: There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity. Homer: Not to me, there isn't!

— Homer joins the debate team, "The Way We Was"

Mrs.B: Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal? Homer: With pleasure. [turns around and moons the class]

— Homer joins the debate team, "The Way We Was"

Look, I'm not asking you to like me, I'm not asking you to put yourself in a position where I can touch your goodies, I'm just asking you to be fair.

— Homer smooth-talks Marge, "The Way We Was"

Barney: Wanna go to the prom with me? Girl: Good God, no! Barney: Well-put.

— Negative feedback, "The Way We Was"

Bart: Great story. [bangs TV] Positively spellbinding. [bangs TV] [to TV] Damn you. Homer: Bart! Pay attention, you may be telling this to your <own> son if something breaks.

— "The Way We Was" [double entendre alert]

Ooh. [spots hairs in his brush] Lost a few. Well, there are plenty more where that came from.

— Teenage Homer isn't worried about male pattern baldness, "The Way We Was"

Homer: Marge, when I see you forming the vowels and continents Marge: Consonants. Homer: consonants, with your beautiful mouth, your beautiful breath pushing past your beautiful teeth...

— "The Way We Was"

So will you go out with me? Please say `Oui'.

— Homer to Marge after a French lesson, "The Way We Was"

Homer: My tux is going to have the widest lapels, the most ruffles, and the highest platform shoes you ever saw! Marge: And maybe I'll wear my hair ... up.

— Marge accepts Homer's invitation to the prom, "The Way We Was"

Get off the edge of your seat. They got married, had kids, and bought a cheap TV, okay?

— Bart fails to enjoy Homer and Marge's story, "The Way We Was"

Artie: Would you go to the prom with me? Marge: Oh, Artie: I can think of a dozen highly cogent arguments. Now the first is from Time Magazine, dated January 8th, 1974 ...

— "The Way We Was"

Mrs.B: If you pinch your cheeks, they'll glow. A little more, try to break some capillaries, dear. Marge: Couldn't we use just rouge for this? Mrs.B: Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge.

— "The Way We Was"

Selma: Marge's dates get homelier all the time. Patty: That's what you get when you don't put out. [Or maybe Patty and Selma. It's hard to tell.]

— "The Way We Was"

Homer: You said you'd go the prom with me. Marge: I also said I hated you, and we haven't even talked since then. Homer: I was afraid you'd cancel our date, so I stayed away from you completely, even though it meant skipping school for three weeks and graduating this summer. I hope.

— "The Way We Was"

Wait a second. Is that a bong-g? [student points at his throat] You have asthma? All right. Move along.

— Mr. Dondelinger chaperones the prom, "The Way We Was"

Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king. Good for you.

— Artie Ziff's acceptance speech, "The Way We Was"

Driver: Well, where to now, Romeo? Homer: Inspiration point. Driver: Okay, but I'm only paid to drive.

— Homer goes (alone) to Inspiration Point, "The Way We Was"

Artie: Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my busy hands. Not so much for myself, but I am so respected, it would damage the TOWN to hear it. Good night. Marge: Yeah, right.

— "The Way We Was"

You know, when that Simpson boy showed up, it took years off my life.

— Mr. Bouvier, "The Way We Was"

The Lord has handed down to us ten commandments by which to live. I will now read them in no particular order.

— Moses, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

I should box your ears, you, you, you SNEAKY PETE!

— Flanders is upset at the cable TV hook-up man, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

So you've decided to steal cable. Myth: Cable piracy is wrong. Fact: Cable companies are big faceless corporations, which makes it okay.

— Homer reads the `So you've decided to steal cable' pamphlet, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

It's funny 'cause it's true.

— Homer laughs at a stand-up routine, [inside joke alert!] "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

I have an announcement to make: The Simpsons have cable!

— Homer's important announcement, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Marge: Homer, we've talked about cable before. You really think we can afford it? Homer: Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.

— The Simpsons have cable! "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseum. Hmm I don't know.

— Marge reads the `So you've decided to steal cable' pamphlet, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

TV: Hear Me Roar, the Network for Women. In the next half-hour, we'll show you how to cut your first-aid bill in half by making your own band-aids. Marge: Ooh, that's a good idea. TV: Now before we begin, you need five yards of sterilized cotton...

— Something for everyone on cable, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Homer: Ooh, pro wrestling from Mexico. You know, down there, it's a <real> sport. ... Bart: Ooh, this is where Jaws eats the boat. ... Ooh, this is where Die Hard jumps through the window. ... Ho ho, this is where Wall Street gets arrested, ha ha. ... TV: "Mr Speaker, if I could call your attention to the retroactive subsidy appropriations override bill, I refer you to page four thousand five hundred and..." Homer: They must think people will watch anything... TV: "Live, from New Orleans, this is the World Series of cock-fighting! Oh, son-of-a-gun, we'll have big fun on the Bayou tonight." ... [time passes] "We could get there quicker if I borrowed Dad's car." "I don't know, Davey..."

— Watching cable all night, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Rev. Lovejoy: Now, today's Christian doesn't think he needs God. He thinks he's got it made. He's got his hi-fi. His boob tube. And his instant pizza-pie. Homer: Ooh, pizza. [licks his lips]

— Sunday sermon, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Miss Allbright: Today's topic will be Hell. Kids: Ooh. Bart: All right. I sat through Mercy and I sat through Forgiveness. <Finally> we get to the good stuff.

— Sunday School, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Miss Allbright: Hell is a terrible place. Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket, there's a lake of fire burning with sulfur. You'll be tormented day and night for ever and ever. As a matter of fact, if you actually saw hell, you'd be so frightened, you would die. Bart: [raises his hand] Oh, Miss Allbright. M.A.: Yes, Bart. Bart: Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub? M.A.: No. Bart: [raises his hand] M.A.: Yes, Bart. Bart: Are there pirates in hell? M.A.: Yes. Thousands of them. Bart: [rubs hands] Hoo hoo, baby!

— Sunday School, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Marge: So, what did you children learn about today? Bart: Hell. Homer: Bart! Bart: But that's what we learned about. I sure as HELL can't tell you we learned about HELL unless I say HELL, can't I? Homer: Well, the lad has a point. Bart: Hell, yes! Marge: Bart! Bart: [singing] Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, ... Marge: Bart, you're no longer in Sunday School. Don't swear.

— Coming home from church, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Troy: Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such movies as `Cry, Yuma' and `Here Comes the Coast Guard'! But today I'd like to tell you about a pleasant-tasting candy that actually cleans and straightens your teeth! Homer: Oh, goodie! A program-length advertisement! Woman: [methodically] Wait a minute, Troy. I'm a little confused. Did you say, cleans <and> straightens? Troy: There's no confusion, Tina. Just good science. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera. Nick: Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody! Studio audience: Hi, Dr. Nick Riviera!

— The `I Can't Believe They Invented It!' show, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Satan: Come on, Lisa. Watch a little cable with us. Heh heh. It won't cost you a thing ... EXCEPT YOUR SOUL! Lisa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! [runs out] Marge: What's gotten into Lisa? Bart: Beats the HELL out of me! Homer: Bart!

— Lisa's conscience speaks, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Lisa: Mom, what are you doing? Marge: What, what do you mean? Lisa: Don't you remember the eighth commandment? Marge: Oh, of course. It's thou shalt not um not covet, um, graven images, something about covet... Lisa: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL!!!

— Marge eats two grapes in the supermarket, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

If you didn't catch it in the theater, or rent it, or see it someplace else ... We've got it! On the Blockbuster Channel!

— TV advertisement, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Lisa: Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption? Homer: [sotto voce] Oh, great... [speaking up] All right, what makes you say that? Lisa: Well, in Sunday School, we learned that stealing is a sin. Homer: Well, DUH. Lisa: But everybody does it. I mean, we're stealing cable as we speak. Homer: Oh. Look at this way, when you had breakfast this morning, did you pay for it? Lisa: No. Homer: And did you pay for those clothes you're wearing? Lisa: No, I didn't. Homer: Well, run for the hills, Ma Barker! Before I call the Feds! Lisa: Dad, I think that's pretty spurious. Homer: Well, thank you, honey.

— There, I've run rings around you logically, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

It's Watson-Tatum 2. This time... it's for money!

— `The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out', "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness!

— Homer on the wonders of cable TV, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Len: Hey, big fight coming up. Karl: Yea, you wanna come over to my house and listen to round-by-round updates on the radio? Len: Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, and then after the fight, we can watch the still photos on the 11-o'clock news. Karl: Not too shabby!

— "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Um, he's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your drones in sector 7-G.

— Smithers to Mr. Burns, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Smithers: Permission to speak frankly, sir? Burns: Permission granted. Smithers: Well, you are quite wealthy, ... Burns: Thank you, Smithers. Your candor is most refreshing.

— "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

I'll get my brother Sanjay to cover for me. He deplores violence of all kinds.

— Apu excited about watching the upcoming fight, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Lisa: So even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing? Rev.: No. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example. Lisa: I see.

— A clarification from Reverend Lovejoy, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

TV: You're watching `Top Hat Entertainment'. Adult programming all day, every day. (Except in Florida and Utah.) Coming up next, `Stardust Mammaries'... Bart: Aye, Carumba! Homer: Bart! Bart: Dad! [He didn't yell `Homer!']

— "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Son, you shouldn't watch that other channel. It's only for mommies and daddies who love each other very much.

— Homer catches Bart watching an adult cable channel, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Lisa: Hi, Dad. I think stealing cable is wrong, so I am choosing not to watch it in the hopes that others will follow my example. That's the last you'll hear from me on the matter. Thank you for your time. Homer: Hey, Lisa... `Racing From Belmont'? Horsies! Lisa: Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.

— Lisa takes the high ground, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

There's something wrong with that kid. She's so moral. Why can't she be more like ... well, not like Bart...

— Homer muses on Lisa's moral posturing, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

The cable stays! The foot has spoken!

— Homer puts his foot down, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Homer: Hey, how'd you get in here? Man: Oh, your door wasn't locked in any serious way.

— Homer finds a man in his living room, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Marge, we can't be too careful. There are thieves everywhere. And I'm not talking about the small forgiveable stuff.

— Homer installs bars on the windows, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Bart: Come one, come all! Top Hat Theater is on the air! The most beautiful women in the world! Just fifty cents! I am your host, Bart Simpson! (Must be at least eight years old to enter.) TV: And now, the `Top Hat' channel is honored to present... `Broadcast Nudes'. Gang: Oooooohh... Millhouse: Gross! Martin: Yet strangely compelling...

— "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Man, I wish I was an adult so I could break the rules.

— Bart is caught watching a cable porn channel, [Burger King alert!] "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Here, I brought some imported generic beer.

— Barney brings a gift, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Apu: Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer. I brought an assortment of jerkys. Homer: Oh, did you swipe those from work? Apu: Certainly not. What has been implied here?

— Apu arrives to watch the fight on Homer's stolen cable TV, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

I just want to call attention to the fact that I'm not watching this fight as my form of nonviolent protest.

— Lisa refuses to watch stolen cable, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Hey, go protest outside, will ya? Now!

— Homer yells at Lisa who simply stares at him, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Homer: Quick, Bart! Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! Bart: Borrowed? Homer: All, right, that stuff I stole from work.

— Panicking when Mr. Burns arrives, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Will you quit staring at me like that!?

— Homer to Lisa who is staring innocently at Homer from outside, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Cop: Word on the street is that you have an illegal cable hookup. Homer: No! No, I... It wasn't me. It was my wife. My wife's idea. Yeah, yeah, ...

— "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

When you love somebody, you have to have faith that in the end, they will do the right thing.

— Marge to Lisa, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Announcer: The challenger learned how to fight in the notorious province[?] of Capital City, and honed his skills while serving time for aggravated assault and manslaughter in Springfield Prison. Barney: Awright! A local boy! Tatum: For five years, I was incarcerated, away from my family, and the mothers [sic] of my children...

— Watching the pre-fight hype, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

I hate to interrupt your judging me, but I wanted you to know that I've made a couple of really important decisions. Number 1: I'm cutting the cable as soon as the fight's over, and Number 2: I'm not very fond of any of you.

— Homer, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Lisa: Dad, we may have saved your soul. Announcer: [from the TV inside] Tatum is reeling from the champ's exquisite hailing... Homer: Yeah, at the worst possible time!

— Cutting the cable hook-up, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Apu: What a donnybrook, eh, Mr. Burns? Burns: Oh, hogwash! Why, I once watched Gentleman Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for a hundred and thirteen rounds! Back then, of course, if the fight lasted less than fifty rounds, we demanded our nickel back!

— After watching the big fight, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Dad, I beg you to reconsider. Tractor pulls. Atlanta Braves baseball. Joe Franklin!

— Bart begs Homer not to cut the cable hook-up, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"

Marge: Mmm, Lisa, you don't look well. Lisa: I'll make it Mom. Just tape my lunchbox to my hand.

— Lisa wakes up ill, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Homer: Maaarge, the dog is hungry. Marge: Well, then, feed him. Homer: Yeees, Master.

— Do I have to do everything around here? "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Bart: No way, she's faking! If Lisa[?] stays home, <I> stay home. Lisa: If Bart stays home, I'm going to school. Bart: Fine, then... Wait a minute... [eyes dart madly as an indication of frantic neural activity] If Lisa goes to school, then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home, so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school... Marge: Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that.

— There, I've run rings around you logically. "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Lisa, you wasted chicken pox. Don't waste the mumps!

— Bart telling Lisa how to enjoy being ill, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

You! Wandering mongrel! Get out of my Mom and Pop operation.

— Apu shooing Santa's Little Helper away, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

You know, they've got the velcro straps, a water pump in the tongue, built-in odometer, reflective sidewalls, and little vanity licence plates!

— Ned Flanders showing off his `Assassins' sneakers, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Dr. Hibert: I guess you'll be missing a week of school, young lady. Lisa: Oh no. I don't want to fall behind my class. Dr. Hibert: Ho ho ho. Oh, such responsibility for such a little girl.

— Lisa is diagnosed with the mumps, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Take a rest, have yourself a wowwipop.

— Dr. Hibert's prescription for the mumps, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Yello? ... Hi, Lisa, what's wrong? ... The mumps? Ooh, the kissing disease.

— Homer learns on the phone that Lisa has the mumps, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

The memory of a million drop stitches flows in your veins.

— Marge telling Lisa she is genetically programmed to know how to sew. "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

You just need to develop a callous. [pricks her finger and lights a lighter under it] You see? Now <that's> a sewing finger, honey.

— Marge showing Lisa how to sew, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Homer: Oh, 125 bucks... [Flanders appears in a `thought' balloon over Homer's head] Flanders: Sometimes, you got to spoil yourself... spoil yourself... spoil yourself... Homer: But I can't afford to... Flanders: Simpson! I order you to buy those shoes! Homer: Okay, Flanders, you're the boss! Heh heh heh.

— Homer and his conscience? "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Bart: Here's your stupid homework. Lisa: Ooh. Phonics, functions, vocabulary, ... remedial reading? Oh, do your own homework, Bart! Bart: D'oh!

— Bart delivers Lisa's homework, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Marge: Those are very elaborate sneakers. Bart: They better be, for 125 big ones! Homer: D'oh! Marge: 125 dollars?!? Homer: Bart! [strangles Bart] Bart: Wauuugh! Marge: Homer! Homer: D'oh!

— Caught in the crossfire, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases. Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire. Marge: Mmm...

— Homer buys expensive sneakers, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

As an actor, my eyeballs need to look their whitest!

— pitchman Troy McClure on `I Can't Believe They Invented It!' "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Marge: Oh, Homer, there seems to be a lot of good obedience schools here. Bart: Oh, school, right, yeah, that's your answer to everything...

— finding a school for Santa's Little Helper, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Martin: How can we tell if we're doing this maneuver effectively? Miss Winthrop: The dog's eyes will cross, and his tongue will protrude and change color, ever so slightly. Bart: Is my dog dead, Ma'am? Miss Winthrop: Ah ha ha, you don't know how often I'm asked that. `Choke chain' is a misnomer. Trust me. They are always breathing.

— demonstrating the use of the choke chain, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Lisa: Gee, is it always this good? Marge: Mmm. I don't know. I just dip in and out. I'm only watching today because Randi is coming out of a coma, and she knows the phony prince's body is hidden in the boat house.

— watching a love scene on a TV soap opera, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Woman: Father McGrath... I thought you were dead. Fr. McGrath: I was!

— soap opera on television, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

I'm sorry, sir, our warranty doesn't cover fire, theft, or acts of dog.

— shoe store clerk, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Girl: Aloha! Would you like a free sample? Homer: The price is right! [stuffs them furiously into his mouth] Mmm.. Ooh.. Macamadamia nuts. Girl: If you'd like to buy some, they're only a dollar each. Homer: Oh, so <that's> your little plan. Get us addicted, then jack up the price! [as he talks, cookie crumbs splatter out of his mouth, dirtying up his shirt] ... [meekly] Well, you win.

— at the Cookie Collossus store, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Look Mom, I've finished my patch. It depicts the two greatest musical influences in my life. [cough cough] On the left is Mr. Largo, my music teacher at school? He taught me that even the noblest concerto can be drained of its beauty and soul. And on the right is Bleeding Gums Murphy. He taught me that music is a fire in your belly that comes out of your mouth, so you better stick an instrument in front of it.

— Lisa describes her contribution to the Bouvier Memory Quilt. "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Marge: [weeping] My quilt! Six generations, ruined! Homer: Now Marge, honey honey honey. Come on, come on, don't get upset. It's not the end of the world. We all love that quilt, but we can't get too attached to... OHH!!! MY COOKIE!!!

— Homer tries to console Marge after Santa's Little Helper chews up the quilt (and Homer's cookie) "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Homer: Everybody in the kitchen. We're having a family meeting. Bart: We never had a family meeting before... Homer: We never had a problem with a family member we can give away before.

— what to do about Santa's Little Helper? "Bart's Dog Gets a F"

Lisa: I'm sure Mom agrees with me. Marge: Mmm. No, I'm afraid I agree with your father. Homer: You do? [taunting and dancing] Ha ha ha ha ha.

— what to do about Santa's Little Helper? "Bart's Dog Gets a F"

Lisa: This is our pet. We can question his integrity and disposition, but we can't question his heart. Are you trying to teach us that the way to solve a problem with something we love is to throw it away? Homer: [weeping] Oh, Lisa. If they're ever going to pull the plug on me, I want you in my corner, honey.

— what to do about Santa's Little Helper? "Bart's Dog Gets a F"

"Free to loving home. World's most brilliant dog. Says `I Love You' on command."

— advertisement for selling Santa's Little Helper, "Bart's Dog Gets an F"

Now... Sit! I said, Sit! [Santa's Little Helper walks away] Um, take a walk. Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I tell him.

— Bart trying to demonstrate his control over the dog, "Bart's Dog Get an F"

You son of a bitch. Good show!

— Dog obedience instructor to Santa's Little Helper, "Bart's Dog Get an F"

Buddy -- Ran away from home. Lao Tzu -- Ate poison toad: now in a coma. Santa's Little Helper -- Bit Bart. Homer didn't mind.

— The eventual fates of the dogs in the obedience school, "Bart's Dog Get an F"

Homer: Marge honey, I've got five words to say to you! [one word per finger] Greasy Joe's Bottomless Barbecue... [realizes he needs his left hand] Pit. Marge: Oh, Homey, remember you told me you'd try to limit pork to six servings a week? Homer: Marge! I'm only human!

— "Principal Charming"

Friends, relatives, work-related acquaintances...

— Rev. Lovejoy greets the wedding guests, "Principal Charming"

Lisa: Aunt Selma? Selma: [grunt] Lisa: Do you think you'll ever married? Selma: [sadly] Oh, I don't know. [perks up] Why? You know somebody? Lisa: No. Selma: [grunt] Lisa: Since I'm sure you'd only resent the pity of an eight-year-old niece, I'll simply hope that you're one of the statistically insignificant number of forty-year-old single women who ever find their fair prince.

— "Principal Charming"

Marge: You owe me a favor. Homer: [whining] Oh... Marge: To be called up whenever and for whatever reason I desire. Homer: But that was just an idle promise!

— Marge cashes in a favor, "Principal Charming"

Homer: Which one's Selma, again? Marge: She's the one who likes Police Academy movies and Hummel figurines, and walking through the park on clear autumn days. Homer: Oh, yeah yeah yeah. But I thought she was the one that didn't like to be ... you know ... touched. Marge: It's Patty who chose a life of celibacy. Selma simply had celibacy thrust upon her.

— "Principal Charming"

Marge: You will find her [Selma] a man! Homer: [conceding] All right. Marge: And not just any man. Homer: [annoyed] Okay! Marge: He should be honest, and, and caring. And well-off. And handsome. Homer: Hey! Why should she have a better husband than you do!?

— "Principal Charming"

Mrs. K: Sodium tetrasulfate is highly toxic, and can remove your skin. [pours into a beaker] Say when... [chuckles] Martin: That will do. [Mrs. K stops pouring, and spills quite a bit] Bart: What's this stuff for? Martin: It's chiefly used in the manufacture of rayons, film, and as a preservative in fast foods.

— Chemistry class, "Principal Charming"

Karl... Too handsome. Smithers... Jerk. Ms. Finch... Not a man.

— Homer weighs the pros and cons of potential suitors for his sister-in-law, "Principal Charming"

Boy, a good man really <is> hard to find.

— Homer searches for a husband for Selma, "Principal Charming"

One seafood burrito, Apu.

— Homer makes a purchase from the Kwik-E-Mart, "Principal Charming"

Apu... Pro: Discounted snack treats. Con: Dangerous profession.

— Homer weighs the pros and cons of potential suitors for his sister-in-law, "Principal Charming"

I am loathe to interrupt your meditation, sir, but the time has come for money to change hands.

— Apu snaps Homer out of his daze at the Kwik-E-Mart register, "Principal Charming"

?... Pro: Nice stride. Con: Complete stranger.

— Homer weighs the pros and cons of potential suitors for his sister-in-law, "Principal Charming"

Pro: Smoker. Con: Just a sign.

— Homer weighs the pros and cons of potential suitors for his sister-in-law, "Principal Charming"

Say what they will about our cafeteria, I still think they're the best tater tots money can buy.

— Principal Skinner eats his lunch at school, "Principal Charming"

Principal Skinner: Bart, I'm flabbergasted. Surely you knew that you were writing your own name in forty-foot-high letters on the field, and that you would be caught. Bart: Maybe it was one of the other Barts, sir. Principal Skinner: There are no other Barts! Bart: Uh oh.

— Another visit to the principal's office, "Principal Charming"

Bart: Hello, is Homer there? Moe: Homer who? Bart: Homer... Sexual. Moe: Wait one second, let me check. [calls] Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual! [guffaws from the gang] You rotten liver pot! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!

— "Principal Charming"

Principal Skinner... Pros: * Uses big words. * Dislikes the boy. * [something] Cons: * Possible Homer Sexual.

— Homer weighs the pros and cons of potential suitors for his sister-in-law, "Principal Charming"

Homer: Principal Skinner, allow me to introduce you to my wife's lovely (and available) sister, Selma. Patty: You bozo, I'm Patty! Homer: What!? Skinner: [dreamily] Patty... Homer: D'oh!! Wrong one!

— Homer introduces Principal Skinner to the wrong woman, "Principal Charming"

I tried to repel him, I really did!

— Patty to Selma, on Principal Skinner, "Principal Charming"

Patty: I'll have a Lady Laramie 100's please. Selma: We both know it could have easily been me. Very easily. [to Apu] Laramie Hi-Tars, hard pack, and I don't have all day. Apu: Ooh, all right, here you go. Smoke them in good health.

— "Principal Charming"

I suggest we start with the Springfield Revolving Restaurant. You know, food tastes better when you're revolving.

— Principal Skinner takes Patty out for a date, "Principal Charming"

Principal Skinner: That was the worst movie I've ever seen. Patty: Not as bad as the service at the revolving restaurant. Principal Skinner: Ho ho ho. Isn't it nice we hate the same things?

— The end of a first date, "Principal Charming"

Principal Skinner: So, see me again tomorrow? Patty: [grunt] I'm afraid that's my microwave cookery class. Principal Skinner: Then the day after that. Patty: Oh, gee. Tae kwon do. Principal Skinner: The day after that, then. Patty: Seymour, you're touching me. Principal Skinner: Kiss me, Patty. I don't have cooties. Patty: Hai-ya! [gives him a healthy karate (or whatever) chop]

— The end of a first date, "Principal Charming"

Principal Skinner: I'm going to ask for your Aunt Patty's hand in marriage. Bart: It's your funeral, Seymour.

— "Principal Charming"

Wheel her in, Homer. I'm not a picky man. [belch]

— Barney comes to the rescue when Homer needs to find a husband for Selma? "Principal Charming"

Clerk: A good rule of thumb is two years' salary, sir. Try this. Principal Skinner: I can't afford that, I'm an educator! Bart: Seymour... Principal Skinner: I'll take it.

— Buying an engagement ring for Patty, "Principal Charming"

Oh, Springfield Elementary! I will have you back again. After all, tomorrow is another school day!

— Principal Skinner, "Principal Charming"

And then when I got out of the service, eh, uh... Well, the next few years are a blur.

— Barney, "Principal Charming"

Barney: She broke my heart, Moe. [sobs] Moe: Don't worry, Barney. Time heals all wounds. Barney: [perks up] Well, whaddya know! You're right! And look, a whole pitcher to myself!

— Every cloud has a silver lining? "Principal Charming"

Grampa: The screen was too small. Jasper: The floor was sticky. Grampa: The romantic subplot felt tacked-on. Jasper: In short, we demand a refund.

— Complaining at the movie theater, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

... and thank you most of all for nuclear power, which has yet to cause a single proven fatality. At least in this country. Amen.

— Homer, saying grace, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.

— Homer, threatening his kids, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Grampa: Pull your chair closer, my son. Homer: What is it, Dad? Grampa: Peeyoo! Not that close! Sheesh. Homer, that heart attack made me realize that I'm going to die someday. Homer: Oh, Dad, you and your imagination.

— hospital visit, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Hey handsome, wanna `dunk' the `clown'?

— Carnival girl/prostitute, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

She did things your mother would never do. Like have sex for money.

— Grampa, remembering an affair, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Granma: Abe, I want Homer to grow up respecting his father. He must never know about that, that carnival incident. Grampa: Okay. Granma: Promise you won't tell him. Grampa: I promise. [end of flashback] Grampa: Oops! Forget what I just told you.

— hospital visit, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Homer: This makes me special, Dad. Since I'm the one you kept, that must mean you really loved me. Grampa: Mm. Interesting theory.

— hospital visit, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Lisa: A long-lost half-brother. How Dickensian! Bart: So, any idea where this bastard lives? Homer: Bart! Bart: His parents aren't married are they? It's the correct word, isn't it? Homer: I guess he's got us there. Marge: Mmm... Bart: [singing] Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard bastard! Marge: Bart! Homer: Bart! Baart!

— car ride, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Homer: Oh brother, where art thou! Attendant: Take it easy, buddy, they moved across the street. Homer: Oh, hee hee. Sorry.

— looking for the orphanage, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Director: I know how you feel, Mr. Simpson. I myself have spent years searching for <my> long-lost twin brother. Homer: Yeah yeah yeah. Well, I wish I could help you, but we're looking for <my> brother today.

— visit to the orphanage, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Director: Your brother could be anywhere. Even ... Detroit. Homer: I know he could be <anywhere>, that's why I want you to narrow it down! Please! Director: You know, Mr. Simpson, if you ask me, the city of <brotherly> love isn't Philadelphia, it's ... Detroit. Homer: Well, if you asked me, changing the subject makes you the most worthess, heartless excuse for a human being I ever... Director: Read between the lines, Mr. Simpson! Homer: Oh, I get it! Okay. Here's twenty bucks. Now will you tell me where my brother lives?

— visit to the orphanage, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Let's see. Powell, Powell, Powell... Pomerantz, Poole, Popkins, Potter, Quigley, Quimby, Randal, oops, too far.

— Homer, looking through the phone book, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Homer: Hello? Hello? Stupid phone! [bangs the phone] Herbert: Hey, knock it off. I'm here! I'm just silent because of the emotion involved. Homer: Oh. Sorry.

— first contact with his brother, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Bart+Lisa: Are we there yet? Homer: Just a little further! Bart+Lisa: Are we there yet? Homer: Just a little fur... Bart+Lisa: Are we there yet? Homer: Just a little further!! Marge: Bart! Lisa! If you don't behave, we'll turn this car right around and go home. Homer: But Marge, I want to see my brother! Marge: Oh, for God sakes, Homer, it's an empty threat.

— car ride, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: Every day we're losing ground to the Japanese and I want to know why. Advisor: Oh, unfair trade practices? Advisor: Mushy-headed one-worlders in Washington? Advisor: Some sort of gypsy curse?

— board meeting, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads!

— Herbert Powell, board meeting, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: You, what are your roots? Advisor: Well, I guess you could say they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons... [all except Herbert chuckle] Herbert: Or in other words, when white met bread.

— board meeting, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Holy moly, the bastard's rich!

— Homer, seeing his brother's mansion, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Homer: And our three children: Bart, Lisa ... Maggie: [falls down] [thud] Homer: ... and Maggie. Bart: Hello, sir. Lisa: Hello, Mr. Powell. Herbert: All born in wedlock? Homer: [whispers] Yeah, though the boy was a close call.

— introducing his family, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: While you're here, I want you to make yourselves right at home. Any time you're hungry, any time day or night, Cook will make you anything you want. Homer: Even pork chops? Herbert: Absolutely. We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room... Homer: If I want pork chops any time in the middle of the night, your guy will fry them up? Herbert: Sure, that's what he's paid for. Now, if you need towels, laundry, maids... Homer: Wait, wait, wait. Lemme see if I got this straight. It's Christmas Day, 4am, there's a rumble in my stomach... Marge: Homer, please.

— touring the estate, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: So, Marge, a little about yourself. Marge: Well, I met Homer in high school. We got married and had three beautiful children. Herbert: Wow. We have so much catching up to do. Marge: Mm. Actually, I just told you pretty much everything.

— poolside, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Bart: Watch me dive! Lisa: Watch me dive! Homer: OKAY, we're watching! Marge: I hope we're not spoiling them... [they dive] Bart: Man, you weren't watching, I did a double gainer with a half... Lisa: Hey, you didn't see what I did, you didn't watch me dive...

— poolside, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

A millionaire!? Ooh, I kept the wrong one.

— Grampa, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Bart: Unkie Herb, can I spit over the side? Herbert: Heh heh heh. I love this kid. Hock your brains out! [Bart spits, as does Herbert] Bart: Ho! Got him!

— in a balloon, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Hello, cook? Sorry to bother you so late, but I got a hankering for some... That's right. Don't forget the applesauce!

— Homer, on the phone late at night, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: And I want to pay you $200,000 a year! Homer: And I want to let you!

— hiring Homer as a consultant, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: Hey Homer, how's your car coming? Homer: Oh, fine. They were putting in an onboard something-or-other and rack-and-peanut steering.

— first day on the job, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Herbert: Do you understand? Homer: Sort of. Herbert: Homer? Homer: What. Herbert: Answer me again with self-confidence! Homer: SORT OF!

— pep talk, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Some things are so snazzy they never go out of style! Like tail fins... And bubble domes... And shag carpeting...

— Homer, designing a car, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"