Dr. Strangelove

Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies.

— Major T.J. "King" Kong, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

— General Jack T. Ripper, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

— General Buck Turgidson, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

— President Merkin Muffley, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

General Jack D. Ripper: Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, I can't say I have.

— "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Ah, oh, no, I don't think they wanted me to talk really, I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.

— Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Mr. President, we cannot allow a mineshaft gap!

— General Buck Turgidson, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

On no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not without good reason.

— General Jack T. Ripper, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today's codes?

— Major T.J. "King" Kong, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts.

— Colonel "Bat" Guano, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Do I look all rancid and clotted? You look at me, Jack. Eh? Look, eh? And I drink a lot of water, you know. I'm what you might call a water man, Jack - that's what I am. And I can swear to you, my boy, swear to you, that there's nothing wrong with my bodily fluids. Not a thing, Jackie.

— Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.

— Colonel "Bat" Guano, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I... I do deny them my essence.

— General Jack T. Ripper, "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack. General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.

— "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"