Insults

You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

You posses an intellect rivalled only by garden tools...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

I can see that you are flirting with intelligence but getting the cold shoulder in return...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

I refuse to enter a battle of wits with you - it's against my morals to attack an unarmed person...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

I'd call you a pea brain, but you really don't deserve the compliment...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

He got in the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

Yet another idiot suffering from diarrhoea of the mouth and constipation of the ideas...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

...and YOU have the IQ of a cornflake...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

Hmm, looks like someone forgot to pay their brain bill...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

Does your head whistle in a cross wind?

— Insulting a person's intelligence

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

You're a prime candidate for natural deselection...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

So, a thought crossed your mind did it? Must have been a long and lonely journey...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

I'll try being nicer if you try being smart...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

All foam, no beer...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

She's a few french fries short of a Happy Meal...

— Insulting a person's intelligence

Do you know what would make you look really good? DISTANCE!

— Insulting a person's appearance

Every person has the right to be ugly, but you're abusing the privilege...

— Insulting a person's appearance

He's so fat, it's easier to jump over him than go around...

— Insulting a person's appearance

You certainly fell out of the ugly tree, and it looks like you hit every branch on the way down...

— Insulting a person's appearance

That's what they mean by dark and handsome. When it's dark, you're handsome...

— Insulting a person's appearance

Don't you need a licence to be that ugly?

— Insulting a person's appearance

She's so ugly, she could eat a watermelon through a picket fence...

— Insulting a person's appearance

He's so fat, even his car's got stretch marks...

— Insulting a person's appearance

Some people say you're two faced, but I disagree. If you had two faces, why would you wear that one?

— Insulting a person's appearance

You have very striking features. How often exactly have you been struck?

— Insulting a person's appearance

She's so fat, when she gets into an elevator, it HAS to go down!

— Insulting a person's appearance

Have you been chasing parked cars?

— Insulting a person's appearance

Ever wondered why people call you PTANG? That's the sound of the shovel as it hit your face...

— Insulting a person's appearance

I'm sorry honey, I just don't have the energy to fake it tonight...

— Insulting the opposite sex

Being a bitch gives me more satisfaction than you do honey...

— Insulting the opposite sex

How about never? Is never good for you?

— Insulting the opposite sex

Save your breath for your inflatable girlfriend...

— Insulting the opposite sex

Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore...

— Insulting the opposite sex: Q: Haven't I seen you somewhere before? A

Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down...

— Insulting the opposite sex: Q: Is this seat empty? A

I don't know, will two people fit under a rock?

— Insulting the opposite sex: Q: So do you want to come back to my place? A

Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine...

— Insulting the opposite sex: Q: Your place or mine? A

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

— Insults for obnoxious people

Now I know why some animals eat their young...

— Insults for obnoxious people

People like you don't grow on trees. They swing from them...

— Insults for obnoxious people

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant...

— Insults for obnoxious people

I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth...

— Insults for obnoxious people

Sorry, I was just trying to imagine you with a personality...

— Insults for obnoxious people

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself...

— Insults for obnoxious people

Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject...

— Insults for obnoxious people

And which dwarf are you?

— Insults for obnoxious people

There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with some Prozac and a polo mallet...

— Insults for obnoxious people

I'm sorry, you've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares...

— Insults for obnoxious people

There's a bus leaving in 10 minutes. Be under it...

— Insults for obnoxious people

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

— Insults for obnoxious people