I can be very polite, but I've found that doesn't always get a result. You have got to bang and thump tables.
Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax.
To find out what others are feeling, don't prod or poke. If you want play with a turtle, you can't get it to come out of its shell by prodding and poking it with a stick, you might kill it. Be gentle not harsh, hard or forceful.