Quotes by Burns, George

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

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How can I die? I'm booked.

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By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

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It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

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If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

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You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

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Be quick to learn and wise to know.

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Life's but a day at most.

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Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

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I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

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